Terrible Two's

I spend a lot of time at the park.  Sometimes instead of watching my own kid, I people watch or eves drop.  In the past six months I have heard three people use three different descriptions for their toddlers. Before I tell you these three things, you should keep in mind that these are coming from tired, over-stimulated, irritable parents, who probably put themselves in a timeout every once in a while just to get away for a minute.

First comment, "toddlers are like communists."  Communism is a theory of social organization based on the holding of all property in common, where there is no actual individual ownership.  Pretty good comparison if you ask me.  As my toddler wanders around the park and grabs the first toy he sees and declares "mine!" I'm sure in that moment he fully believes communism is a completely fair idea . . . . that is until the other kid tries to take his toy back.  

Second comment, "toddlers are like little terrorists."  Ouch.  Seriously guy?  Did you just compare your daughter to a terrorist?  Might seem kind of harsh at first, but at further inspection, pretty accurate.  Definition of terrorism: "Systematic use of violence and intimidation to achieve some goal.  The act of terrorizing."  Wow, could this describe my son any more dead on??  When my son walks towards me with his arm wound back behind his head, hard toy in hand, with a "don't make me throw this at you" look in his eye, he is basically a terrorist.  

Third comment, "most toddlers are bi polar."  Oh my gosh, yes!  Finally, someone has pin pointed the problem with this kid!  Now it all makes sense.  "A mental disorder characterized by an alternation between extreme euphoria and deep depression."  This is why my two year old goes from laughing his head off while singing yo gabba gabba, to screaming because he has a fuzzy on his shirt.  It's really too bad that the large amount of suckers we use to bribe him don't act as medication to counteract this syndrome.