A Mother's Musings Attempting to Get in Her Car

I live in San Francisco, in Russian Hill.  If you’re not familiar, it’s the part of the city where when you’re parking perpendicular to the curb for the first time your first thought is “holy shit the car is going to flip over!"  It’s the part of the city where when you’re driving up a hill and you get to the stop sign you have to strain to peer up over the steering wheel like a little old lady to see if you can keep driving.  It’s the part of the city where two-foot driving is a necessity.  

My husband parked the car the night before on said perpendicular parking street.  In the morning, I was to take my 6 week old, Eden (in her car seat) and my 2 year old, Judah to the car.  Here is my train of thought … 

Should I put Judah in first and leave the car seat on the hill?  No, someone will probably call social services.  

If I put Eden in first and tell Judah to wait he’ll probably run into the street get hit by a car … social services.  

I can put Eden in faster, let’s do that.  

"Judah, if you stand on the sidewalk until mommy calls you I’ll give you a treat in the car." 

Open the door, rest “nicely" on car parked below us.  Shit.  Car seat won’t fit.  I’ll go in through Judah’s side of the car. 

"Judah, mommy said I’ll give you a treat if you stay there." 

Open the door.  Shit.  Are you fricken kidding me??  

Bring car seat back to sidewalk next to Judah and stand there staring at the car.  

Okay, I’ll put Judah in first.  Where to put Eden?  Ah, the trunk.  

"Judah, remember, you get a treat if you wait on the sidewalk."  

Put car seat in trunk.  Lady walks by and stares at me as I walk away from my baby in her car seat, in the trunk.  

Yeah, keep staring judgmental rich lady who probably has a garage.  

Get Judah from sidewalk (he really has deserved his treat by now).  Open his door.  Are you f’ing kidding me???  I hate my husband for parking in this damn spot.  

Stare at car. 

Think about ditching plans and going back to the house.   

Open front passenger door, set Judah on seat.  Have a momentary thought about backing the car out just enough while Eden is in the trunk … social services.  

Go back to trunk get Eden.  

Open driver side door, squeeze Eden into front seat.  Reach around and click car seat into place.  

Wipe sweat off cheek. 

Attempt to pick Judah up and put him in car seat … bad idea. 

"Judah, remember that treat???"